A Quick Way to Ruin Your Marriage and Children

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This post has stuff about religion and a previous relationship. My perspective has changed

Mary and I have been through a lot. We certainly haven’t made it into the clear yet, but we’re getting better. Pastor John’s message from last week was really good. One of the big points he made about marriage, and parenting is that you’ll really mess everything up if you try and do it in your own wisdom. That one got me. I think he hit on it again this week too, but I haven’t heard that message yet. Here are a couple of excerpts from the sermon.

In regards to speaking unkindly to your spouse:

“Let no unwholesome word”…but if you say mean things long enough pretty soon the power of that scripture is totally eradicated and it gets easier and easier to say mean things, and the things that you say will get meaner. And the things that you’ll do will be more hurtful, because you erase the power of that scripture to create a godly boundary because suddenly what Jesus thinks and what Jesus says is diminished and doesn’t carry the same weight because you’re so used to disobeying him.

And on explaining stuff to your kids:

Proverbs chapter 3 verse 5: “trust in the Lord with all of your heart…and do not rely on your own understanding.” See, obedience to Jesus requires doing things the Jesus way, not just in marriage but in life in general, requires that you give up the right to understand why things have to be a certain way. that’s why I really caution you parents that are trying to explain to junior—3 years old—exactly why he shouldn’t do this or that. No. You’re raising up a kid thats gonna grow up to be wise in his own eyes, he’s gonna grow prideful, and at some point he’s going to dictate that your reasons you’re giving him are not sufficient for him to stop the behavior that’s destructive…so stop explaining stuff to your kids.