Dustin's Daddy Dictionary: The Working Dad's Guide to Baby Talk

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This post has stuff about religion and a previous relationship. My perspective has changed

Now that I’m working for The Man I’m not around when Madeline learns how to say new words I’ve had to get most of these translations through Mary, the new household interpreter. Some of the things Maddie says are just freaking CUTE .

Since I was having such a hard time understanding the kid, I decided to compile this short list of her most used words, and their definitions. In the event that you cannot understand your child, this short dictionary might be of some use. Please note, however, that your child will likely have his/her own language, in which case this will be useless to you. In that case you’ll have one of two options for determining what your child is saying:

  1. The fun way: Spend time with them. Teach them how to say stuff. This way is fun because you can teach them to say fun things like “tubby tubby tubby” instead of “tummy.” Teach them some slang terms like “dude.” Likely they’ll just pick it up from you anyway. But watch your mouth! We don’t need a bunch of toddlers running around with potty mouths.
  2. The lazy way: I use this method often. Just ask your wife. Wives know everything and if they don’t know what baby is saying they’ll just make something up and you’ll be none the wiser. Mom’s don’t want to lose their street-cred in the baby-dictation department.

The Baby-Talk Dictionary

dl. Abbie:Diaper
Ah ah:Monkey
Ah Doe:All Done
Appie:Nipple
Baa:Bath
Baby:Baby
Bee:Bear
Day Doo:Thank you
Dog’y:Doggy
Eee:Eat
Joo:Juice
Moar:More
Nah:Milk
Nigh Nigh:Blanket
No no no:No
Oh day:Oh dang
Ooooo:Shoe
Pea:Please
Tubbie Tubbie Tubbie:Belly
Wahwie:Water
Woah due:Woah dude

This dictionary is in no way comprehensive. I need you to help me fill it out. What do your kids say? Leave em in the comments below.