Fucking conversational

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I feel like Elizabeth Spiers had her laser sight aimed directly at my forehead when she wrote about using trendy words in conversational writing:

I attribute the seeping of these words into the professional work of people who consider themselves serious critics to the fact that they’re told to write “conversationally” and they take that to mean that they should write exactly like they speak–or text, or email. But “conversational” is really a reference to overall style and tone.

I believe I have severely misunderstood what conversational writing means—and here I thought it meant to write as if you were having a conversation (I’m actually not being sarcastic right now). As if that wasn’t enough, she had to turn her sight toward my favorite word of all time…

one I find personally irritating: fucking as an adjective… “fucking” as an adjective generally makes a writer sound angry on the page, even if that’s not the intention. (It’s also unoriginal and betrays the writer’s seemingly limited vocabulary.)

No! Not that word! I’ll stop saying “totes”, I swear it, but not fucking! Oh! the horror.

OK I get it. I sound like a 14 year old. Point taken.