Why Men Hate Chick Flicks and How to Avoid Watching Them

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This post has stuff about a previous relationship. My perspective has changed

50 First Dates

Chick flicks make me want to vomit. I try to avoid them at all costs but I’ve never tried to express why. In the time that it took Mary to watch 27 Dresses I came up with a few reasons:

Predictable

First of all, every plot is pretty much the same. Here’s an example: Knight in Shining Armor ( KISA ) is engaged to be married. Somehow the “unexpected” Mousy Girl (MG) happens to catch his eye. She is abnormally beautiful when she takes off her glasses. They work together and begin to fall in love. He cancels the engagement. Some huge and entirely “unforeseeable” event occurs which causes KISA to go back to his ex-fiance. MG realizes that she is actually in love with KISA but by this time he is getting on a plane to fly to Hawaii where ALL weddings take place. MG gets to him in the nick of time. She then expresses her true love and they have sex, which, in movie terms is somehow equated with love. THE END . GAH !

Immoral

Nearly every chick flick contains divorce, marital infidelity, fornication, or excessive amounts crude sexual references. If possible there will always be one desperate woman who sleeps with every man possible and talks about it ad nauseum. You’ve also got teenage sex and pregnancy, summer vacation orgies, drunkenness, etc. Why do women watch this crap?

Hyper-dramatic

Let’s put it this way. If I believed that chick flicks were true to life I would never want to fall in love because I would either A) Die in some freak accident B) Be completely misunderstood and/or C) Be an absolute moron. On the other hand I would likely be rich, good looking, have a huge mansion and be super witty. Anything can be used as the springboard for a crisis.

Escape route

Let’s assume the following scenario. There are no good guy movies at the RedBox kiosk. Wife wants to get a chick flick. This is where you counter with an alternative, somewhat tolerable chick flick. You pick one of the following movies suggested by Ken’s World:

She’ll be happy that you’re watching a chick flick and you get sex because of your sacrifice. Well played.

Photo by Hot Rod Homepage