Perceived Budgeting For Sex: Why I Enjoy Losing Money

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This post has stuff about a previous relationship. My perspective has changed

Sex Chart

Over the years I’ve come to realize a common pattern in my marriage. The frequency of sex is directly proportional to the amount of money that my wife has to spend. You don’t need a learning management system to figure this out, but I thought I’d chart it out anyway. If you’re a lady hang on a minute, I’ve got something special for you too.

As you can see in the chart a low frequency of sex will result in little money being offered in the budget. As more money is offered the frequency of sex should increase. After all, it’s only fair.

Perceived Budgeting 101: The Basics

Perceived Budgeting is a method of budgeting wherein the actual value of the fixed amount that is budgeted for a specific category changes based on external circumstances.

It’s sort of like adjusting for inflation. For example, your automotive category can automatically expand to fit the purchase of a nice new Charger if the perceived value is greater than the budgeted amount. In other words, even though budgets represent fixed values, say $100/month in the spending category, those values can increase or decrease based on perceived value. So in our case that $100 is actually worth a little less as the frequency of sex is decreased. This is what I call Perceived Budgeting for Sex.

Perceived Budgeting 202: Budgeting for Sex

How can the Perceived Budgeting Method ( PBM ) balance your budget and increase the frequency of sex? It’s simple. Increase the budgeted amount of spending money for your wife until you are being sexually satisfied. She will love it because most men have an insatiable appetite for lovemaking.

It’s important to note that under the PBM too much sex can severely damage your finances. Many men, after learning the secret of PBM for Sex have ended up filing for bankruptcy. I strongly recommend moderation. Find amounts that you can both live with. You’ll be compromising for sure, but it’s better than being sexually deprived or financially bust.

For the Ladies: Do Your Man a Favor

My sister on my wife’s side made a great point. When a man desires the “services” of his wife before bed most women will complain and deny. You see, it is very important for a woman to get her rest. But if you do this for 10 minutes you’ll end up in an argument that lasts all night and you won’t get the sleep that you so desired. So think smart. Give him what he desires. Take that 10 minutes, turn it into bliss for your man, and sleep the night away in peace. Men are simple creatures. They require sex and food, and everything they know or want is somehow tied to those two things, including their wallets.

L