This post has stuff about religion and a previous relationship. My perspective has changed
This post comes to you from Big Daddy at Grow Some Onions!. We recently met up online and in the spirit of manly community (kinda the point of this blog) I thought I’d have him over. This post is part five in a series called Manly Commandments.
There comes a time in every man’s life when we must realize that what we are meant to be doing is what we already ARE doing. So many of us spend so much of our life and our family’s time together chasing after goals we’ve given ourselves that were never meant to be. As men, we have an overwhelming tendency to want not only to solve a problem, but to leave our mark on it, and on the world if possible, in the process.
When my kids were diagnosed with autism, learning how to cope as a family wasn’t good enough for me. While the wife single-handedly kept Amazon in business buying every autism book ever published and joining every autism support group and chat list on the Internet, I was buying domain names for the foundation I planned to start. I was going to make a ton of money and use it to wipe out autism — problem solved. Fame, fortune and the cure for disease would be forever attached to my name.
For the better part of the next 8 years, each day found me developing a new scheme for a web-based business that would solve the problem of autism for us and the millions of other families facing a lifetime with it. While my wife taught our 2 year-old how to walk like he had begun doing when he was 9 months old, before the autism settled in, I was submitting my plans to venture capitalists all over the country. It was just before the first dotcom bubble burst, so I, like everyone else at the time assumed that it was only a matter of time before the cash started to flow in. It didn’t. To make matters worse, my wife didn’t seem overwhelmingly supportive of my plans to change the world and put us on easy street. Couldn’t she see the potential?
Yes, she could, but the potential she was seeing was my potential to be a great husband, and father to our growing family, if I would just answer the call. I was trying to build a legacy for my kids when all they really wanted built was a treehouse.
Long story short, Big Daddy joined the 20% of fathers to autistic children who choose the treehouse over the penthouse, and bedtime stories over their own success stories. My only vice, I suppose, is my desire to convert the 80% who feel that STAYING with their kids isn’t enough, who feel that PRAYING with their kids isn’t enough, who feel that PLAYING with their kids isn’t enough, and this I do each day with my blog.