The Man's Guide to Surviving While the Wife is Away

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This post has stuff about a previous relationship. My perspective has changed

It's all too much.

All that I’ve eaten in the past 48 hours is a bowl of cereal, a BBQ sandwich, and some chips. I’m unshaven. I haven’t brushed my teeth. Garbage is beginning to pile up around me. I’ve only slept 3 hours. The house is eerily quiet, and darker than usual. The grass in the back yard is nearly a foot tall. The clothes hamper has become more of a mound of dirty pants, shirts, and boxers. I don’t know how much longer I can live like this. You see, my wife and kids are away and I’m left to fend for myself. Here are some things that have helped me to pass the time.

Get moving

The longer you put things off the more difficult it will be to get anything done. Start doing stuff as soon as you can. Clean the house, do the dishes, read a book, get a movie. Just do something constructive before the boredom sets in.

Call the family

There’s nothing that warms the heart more than your baby girl telling you she loves you, and “night night.” Make sure to call and talk to the fam at least every night before bedtime.

Avoid pr0nIf you start looking at porn you’ll end up wasting your whole night. You’ll stay up way too late and that will compound the emotional difficulty of your spouse being gone to begin with. It’s also a good idea to stay of the web late at night since it gets harder to resist temptation as you get more tired.

Eat. Eat in. Eat regularly.

It’s easy to stop eating when someone isn’t cooking, or when you don’t have more than one mouth to feed. But resist the temptation to starve yourself and have three regular meals a day. It’s also important to avoid fast food. It’s no good for you and it will break the budget.

Get some rest

Try and go to bed at a regular time. Although it may seem super appealing to code all night, or work on the car out in the garage until 3 am, don’t. Your wife doesn’t dig bags under your eyes.

Keep it shallow

When the spouse is gone it seems easy to overshare your feelings with your female coworkers. Avoid this. This is scary territory. Save your thoughts for your spouse when she gets back. She’ll love to hear everything you were thinking.

This list is hardly exhaustive but hopefully it will help you, like it has me, get through the lonely nights while your wife is away. If you have any more suggestions please feel free to leave them in the comments. Anything helps!

Photo by aphasiafilms