What ever happened to the “coming of age” ritual for young boys? I never had one of these rituals and with the exception of one boy, now a teenager (and a man by rite), I’ve never known another boy who did.
A “rite of passage is a ritual that marks a change in a person’s social or sexual status. Rites of passage are often ceremonies surrounding events such as childbirth, menarche or other milestones within puberty, coming of age, marriage, weddings, and death.” (Wikipedia) These types of rituals serve many great purposes:
- Separate a child from dependency on his mother
- Make a child responsible for his own actions
- Reinforce a child’s masculinity
Of course, just because a person doesn’t have a ceremony to delimit his passage into manhood doesn’t mean he is+n’t+ a man. There are other things that are accepted as rites of passage too:
- Getting a driver’s license
- Losing your virginity
- First alcoholic beverage
- First shave
- Scarification
Those are okay, but for the most part, those are secular. I’m looking for something that extols the virtues of Biblical manhood. I’d love to see something like the Jewish Bar Mitzvah make its way into mainstream Christianity. What is your experience with rite of passage? What are the basic components of the ritual?
Further reading
Photo by Franz Luthi
5 Comments
Sorry for the lurking post, but have you read Wild at Heart by John Eldredge? A good portion of this book deals with this very subject. And I’m not affiliated with him, just a fellow Christian that is trying to find out what Biblical Manliness really is.
Hey Jon, thanks for leaving a comment! I haven’t read Wild at Heart by I have read The Way of the Wild Heart, which walks you through the stages of development as a man. It’s a really good book. In fact, I should set up some sort of recommended reading page with both of these books on it. Thanks again for the comment!
Both of the Eldredge books are excellent, must reads for this topic. However, the book that stands out on this topic is Raising a Modern Day Knight by Robert Lewis (http://www.raisingamoderndayknight.com/rmdk.html). This is single-handedly the most important Christian book on this subject.
Personally, I did not go through any rite of passage either, but believe it is crucial and am starting the process with my boys. In fact, this weekend marks the first-annual Men’s Camping Trip with myself and a few other guys in my men’s group with our sons. The point of the trip is to provide an outing for us to start these types of traditions and lay the groundwork for the rites of passage that are coming (all our boys are young right now). We are still workingon some of the specifics, but am looking forward to the process of teaching my boys to become men of God!
That’s great! I need to check that book out too. Great suggestions guys.
You’ll have to let us know how it goes this weekend. Up for a guest post yet?
You bet…just name it and I’m there for ya!